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2013: The year of juicing?

Posted by on January 2, 2013
We're not messing around here.  This dude can make some juice.

We’re not messing around here. This dude can make some juice.

If you look back at 2012, one thing is for certain: our band of brothers has eaten piles and piles of terribly unhealthy foods.

Of course, part of this is at the heart of why we started in the first place: We’re supposed to go out occasionally and eat a good heap of bar food or make a big feast for a football game, washing it all down with a few beers.  None of this is bad when done occasionally.  I noticed, however, I have now gone beyond occasionally in my eating habits.

Despite having a moderately consistent gym-going schedule, I just seem to stay at the same weight- a weight higher than any time in my life.  When I finally sat down and took stock of what I was eating I noticed a few major problems.  Most importantly, the lion share of my diet consisted of processed foods, lunch meats, & cheeses.  Anything green was practically absent from my diet.  The produce section of the grocery was simply a pass-through to the bread and deli.  Equally concerning was my Diet Coke consumption… Several several several cans a day.  One Saturday I woke up a little troubled by my appearance and thought I’d watch a documentary on Netflix about what we eat.  Four documentaries later, my head is spinning.  One thing is obvious: I must eat better in 2013.

So here I am a few weeks later… I’ve made a pact with myself to not buy anything with more than 5 ingredients unless I can pronounce each of them and know they’re not poison.  I’m down to 2-3 Diet Cokes a week, and I am finally addressing the lack of green in my life.  To be honest, I don’t care for many greens.  The man in me has no clue what to do with them.  Make a salad?  That’s about all I can think of for anything in the produce section.  Thankfully, I found a solution that just may work for me… Juicing.  Thanks to the documentary, “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead,” I am now part of the fad-revolution of juicing.  Apparently, the fad is a large one because the lady at whole foods looked at my basket and called it on the spot: “you must be juicing.”

Let me give you the long and short of it… Basically I bought (with a Christmas loan from my pops) a sweet juicer called the Omega 8006 that can juice darn near anything as well as extrude pasta and make homemade peanut/cashew/almond butters.  (I’m thinking of launching a high-end homemade peanut butter empire- Uncle’s Nut Butter.)  Next, I ripped a recipe off and headed to the grocery.  Something hit me hard as I paid for my pile of greens and yellows… This humble pile of produce was the most I’ve bought at one time… Ever.  $15 of produce set a new personal record.  How sad?

Juicing it out

Juicing it out

Now comes the fun!  I fired up the juicer and shoved the following down its throat:

4 kale leaves

3 celery stalks

3 leaves of Romaine

A lemon (peel on)

An apple

A cucumber

The end result: Almost an entire day’s worth of vegetables in one large visually unappealing glass of green liquid.

To be honest, it doesn’t taste great, but it doesn’t taste bad either.  Would I drink this on a normal basis for the fun of it?  No.  It’s not a beer, folks; it’s a fruit and vegetable juice.  I will drink it though.  I’ll drink it almost every day.  Why?  I don’t want to die quite yet.  I can’t live my life devoid of anything nutrient-rich and expect to not be a train-wreck in the very near future.  But… I love beer.  I’m a huge fan of a good pile of curly fries or mac & cheese.  Don’t even ask me about how much I love going to Eli’s BBQ.  But put simply, action needs to be taken or I won’t get to enjoy these things as an old curmudgeon, and quite frankly, I think being an old curmudgeon is part of my designed purpose in life- where I’ll really hit my stride… I must eat my greens to get there.

It makes me feel like a giant tool to start these changes around New Years, but it is what it is.  We talk sarcastically on this blog about being a man and eating like one, enough to even invoke someone to call me a sexist hillbilly, but truth be told, there is nothing manly about eating like a big dumb animal on more than a sporadic special-occasion basis.  Our days of greasy bar food and football party fare are not over- far from it- but my sneaking this type of food in to my daily routine has to be.

Hoping for a healthier you and me in 2013…  All the best to you, and thank you for reading this blog of ramblings, musings, and absolute stupidity.  We never imagined the outpouring of positive comments from our friends and strangers.  Even the negative comments have been highly entertaining.  God bless.  Cheers.

It tastes better than it looks.

It tastes better than it looks.

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